For most of my life, I grappled with a mysterious barrier that made everyday tasks overwhelming. It wasn’t just procrastination or a lack of motivation; it was a paralyzing inability to break down tasks that left me staring at the whole, daunting picture, completely unable to function.

Diagnosed at the age of 32, my journey through understanding and managing ADHD has been filled with both stumbling blocks and stepping stones. Today, I want to share my experiences and some practical tips that have helped me turn overwhelming chaos into organized strategies.

The Silent Struggle of Adult ADHD

Before I was diagnosed, I struggled with staying on task and missed deadlines. Every day was a battle against my own brain’s wiring. And with ADHD, the little things aren’t so little. The everyday task of deciding what to tackle first can feel like choosing which wire to cut on a ticking bomb.

Whether it was cleaning the house or managing projects at work, I was overwhelmed by the full scope of the tasks and paralyzed, unsure of where to start. This paralysis was deeply diminishing, shadowing the potential I knew was within me but couldn’t seem to harness.

The Underdiagnosis of Women with ADHD

The path to my diagnosis was winding and complex, echoing the experiences of many women who live with undiagnosed ADHD. Statistically, ADHD is less frequently diagnosed in women and girls, which complicates the recognition and management of the condition. According to Children and Adults with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (CHADD), girls are diagnosed at about half the rate of boys, though this discrepancy narrows in adulthood. This underdiagnosis stems from a fundamental misunderstanding of how ADHD presents differently in women compared to men.

Historically, ADHD was considered a condition that predominantly affected boys—primarily because they often displayed the more noticeable hyperactive-impulsive symptoms. In contrast, girls are more often diagnosed with the predominantly inattentive presentation. This can include difficulty maintaining focus, being easily distracted, or forgetfulness. These symptoms can be subtle and may not disrupt the classroom or workplace as visibly as hyperactive behaviors, leading to underrecognition. 

Women frequently seek a diagnosis only after encountering significant challenges in their daily lives or after one of their children is diagnosed with ADHD. Women with ADHD often internalize their struggles, leading to symptoms that are less outwardly visible. This can manifest as low self-esteem, anxiety, and depression. Because these issues can be mistakenly viewed as primary problems rather than symptoms of ADHD, the underlying cause may be overlooked by healthcare providers. This delayed diagnosis can lead to a lifetime of unexplained difficulties and misattributed frustrations, making it critical to raise awareness and improve understanding of how ADHD affects women uniquely.

For me, the catalyst for seeking help was not just a curiosity about my daily challenges, but a desperation born from feeling utterly broken. I was nearly non-functional, with every aspect of my life falling apart. I harbored fears of a brain tumor causing my memory lapses. I looked around at my peers—other women who juggled careers, families, and social obligations with apparent ease—and I felt defective. They managed to keep their homes immaculate, meet deadlines, remember birthdays, and still have energy to spare. Why couldn't I? My struggles felt like personal failures, and it was only with my back against the wall, when I could no longer cope, that I sought a diagnosis, expecting the worst but hoping for answers.

Navigating Workplace Challenges with ADHD

Understanding the unique challenges faced by individuals with ADHD in professional settings is crucial. For those of us with ADHD, a typical workday is about navigating a labyrinth of potential distractions, miscommunications, and forgotten priorities.

From the urgent email you remembered but didn't reply to, to the meeting notes you were supposed to review but can’t seem to find, each unchecked item adds to a growing sense of panic and inefficiency. For someone with ADHD, these aren’t just occasional oversights; they are frequent hurdles that can derail an entire day's productivity.

Moreover, ADHD can complicate your interactions with colleagues. In fast-paced meetings, you might find yourself speaking out of turn, diving too deep into irrelevant details, or missing key points because your attention has wandered at a critical moment. These social faux pas can affect how your professionalism is perceived and strain your work relationships.

Let’s dive into some practical strategies I’ve developed to turn these challenges into opportunities for growth and productivity.

Workplace Strategies That Work for Me

Here are some of the strategies that have stuck with me:

• Managing Messages: Dealing with emails and messages when you have ADHD can sometimes feel like trying to drink from a fire hose—overwhelming and chaotic. Early on, I'd open emails as soon as they popped up, only to forget their content as soon as another task demanded my attention. This led to important details slipping through the cracks and poor experiences for my external partners, not to mention the stress of trying to remember which email I had already responded to.
  
  To regain control, I implemented a simple yet effective rule: I don’t open any message unless I am ready to deal with it right then and there. Which means my inbox isn't just a list of read emails that I need to circle back to; it’s a to-do list where unread means unhandled. Once I open an email, I either respond immediately, delegate it if it’s not for me, or set a specific reminder to address it later. This method ensures nothing gets lost in the chaos of the day.

• Embracing Task Management Tools: Initially, keeping track of all my tasks felt like juggling too many balls—eventually, I’d drop one. At CareerCircle, we use Monday.com, which allows me to break larger projects into smaller, manageable tasks, which is less daunting than facing a big project all at once. I can update statuses, add notes, and even share updates with teammates, making collaboration smooth and transparent.
  
  What makes a project management tool great for someone with ADHD is the ability to customize its setup to match the way I think and work. For example, I use color coding for different project stages and set up automated reminders that alert me about upcoming deadlines. It guides me through my workday, ensuring that I stay on track and nothing important falls through the cracks.
  
  It has also enhanced how I work with my team. It provides transparency and accountability, allowing everyone to see the progress of projects and understand where help might be needed. It’s transformed how I manage my tasks from a source of stress to a structured, controlled part of my work life.
  
  Whether it’s Monday.com, Trello, Asana, or Jira, having a single place to capture all my tasks means nothing gets forgotten. I can’t recommend it enough. 

• Balancing Listening and Speaking: For someone like me, who could easily monopolize a conversation without even realizing it, finding the balance between listening and speaking has been crucial for my professional relationships.
  
  I started approaching conversations more strategically. Before meetings, I'd prepare a mental outline of the points I wanted to make, keeping them clear and concise. I also set personal 'listening goals'—like not interrupting or speaking until someone else had finished their point, or asking a follow-up question to ensure I truly understood.
  
  This more strategic approach has helped me ensure that when I do speak, my words carry more weight and relevance, creating a more balanced and effective communication dynamic. If you have similar challenges, try setting small, specific goals for listening in your next conversation—you might be surprised at how much this small shift can improve both your interactions and your relationships.

• Fostering Transparency and Support: When I first told my team about my diagnosis, it was nerve-wracking. Would they think less of me? Would they doubt my capabilities? To my relief, the opposite was true. Transparency led to understanding, and understanding fostered support.
  
  Now, I make it a point to be open about my needs and the ways I work best. For instance, I’ve explained that I might need reminders and that these aren't a nuisance but a necessity for me. This openness has encouraged others to share their own challenges and strategies, creating a culture of empathy and collaboration. It’s not about making excuses; it’s about making adjustments so everyone can excel.

• Harnessing Hyperfocus: Hyperfocus can be a superpower—if you know how to control it. I've had days where I’m so engrossed in a task that hours pass by in what seems like minutes, and suddenly, it's the end of the day and I've missed meetings or left other tasks unattended. To manage this, I've set up systems to harness this intense focus without letting it take over.
  
  I use technology to keep me in check. My smartwatch is programmed to buzz with reminders about upcoming meetings or deadlines. I’ve also learned to set boundaries for my hyperfocus sessions, allocating specific times when I can deep dive into a project without disrupting the rest of my day's schedule. Yes, ADHD can mean hyperfocus to the point of losing track of time. I counter this with alarms, reminders, and even physical notes plastered where I can’t miss them. Let tech nag you; it’s for your own good!

• Ownership Over Challenges: Acknowledging that my brain works differently was the first step; taking responsibility for managing those differences was the next. It's easy to feel victimized by your struggles, but there's profound strength in owning them. I've learned that while I can't control having ADHD, I can control how I manage it.
  
  This means setting up personal systems that offset my weaker points. For instance, if I know I’m prone to forgetting deadlines, I preemptively create reminders and check-ins for myself. I can acknowledge my limits, while still solving and compensating for them. This proactive approach has improved my work performance but also, surprisingly, my self-esteem. It’s nice feeling like you’re ontop of everything, the first time it happened I couldn’t believe people felt like this all the time.

• Creating Redundancies: Redundancies are my safety net. I know that if I don’t have multiple reminders set, there's a high chance I’ll forget something important. So, I double down—literally. I have reminders on my phone, pop-ups on my computer, and even physical sticky notes in places I can’t ignore (like on my bathroom mirror or the fridge). These aren't just backup plans; they're integral to how I function. They reassure me that I won’t let things slip through the cracks, allowing me to focus more on my work and less on worrying about forgetting something crucial. It’s about creating a foolproof system that compensates for the moments when my ADHD might try to steer me off course.

• Dealing with Rejection Sensitivity: Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD) is a lesser-known but significant aspect of ADHD, marked by an intense emotional response to perceived or actual rejection or criticism. People with RSD experience feelings of extreme emotional pain, anxiety, and even rage in response to rejection, which can be debilitating in both personal and professional settings.
  
  In the context of ADHD, RSD can amplify the typical challenges of handling feedback. For me, learning to manage this hypersensitivity to criticism was about shifting my perspective and building emotional resilience. Initially, every piece of feedback felt like a personal attack, leaving me either deflated or defensively overreacting. This reaction wasn't just hurting me; it was also affecting my relationships with colleagues who hesitated to give me constructive feedback.
  
  To combat this, I began actively reminding myself that feedback is often given with the intention of improving and refining work, not to criticize me personally. This cognitive reframing was crucial—it helped me start to separate my self-worth from the feedback and view it as a valuable tool for personal and professional growth. Incorporating these strategies into my daily professional life didn't erase the challenges of RSD, but it made them more manageable. I now approach feedback sessions with a mindset prepared to learn and grow, rather than a defensive posture braced for pain. This shift has improved my professional relationships and has also enhanced my overall job performance, turning what once was a source of dread into a pathway for improvement.

Embracing the Journey Ahead

I think it’s critical to recognize that understanding and managing ADHD is an ongoing process. Finding the balance between embracing our unique way of thinking and adapting to the structured demands of the workplace isn’t always easy. But although I’ve mostly touched on the weaknesses ADHD here, it’s important to note that we also have the ability to leverage our unique strengths—our creativity, our ability to think outside the box, and our intense hyperfocus when engaged with our passions. 

I share my story and these strategies not just to offer a guide, but to provide hope and solidarity to those who may feel overwhelmed by their ADHD. You are not alone, and your challenges do not define your value or your capabilities. With the right tools and support, there is a place for us to shine in every professional environment.

Each strategy I've implemented and every piece of advice I've gathered along the way started as coping strategies, but have now allowed me to thrive professionally and personally. Together, we can transform our struggles into strengths, proving that with awareness, support, and personal effort, thriving with ADHD isn't just possible—it's a pathway to discovering how our differences can contribute to our successes.